How can we use feedback to help keep ourselves and those around us motivated? With last month’s performance reviews, I’ve been thinking about motivation, specifically how to use positive and negative feedback effectively. Can you have one without the other?
Many moons ago, when I was in my last year at UMass Amherst, I wrote a paper that touched on the subject of motivation and performance reviews. I compared managing people in an office setting to parenting. My experience has been that when someone tells me that they appreciate something that I do, I want to keep doing it and I do not want to disappoint the person who thought so highly of me. When constructive criticism is sprinkled in with the positive, I try my best to own it and learn from the feedback. This has worked for me in my career, and also at home as a daughter, mother, and wife. I think most people respond similarly.
Of course, not everyone reacts to criticism the same way. For example, when on a recent car trip with my husband (trapped) listening to and trying to enjoy the 70’s on 7, I asked my husband to kindly stop accompanying Al Green with his kazoo voice. I gently explained that he wasn’t enhancing the song and in fact, it was making it difficult for me to enjoy it. My dear husband surprised me and actually sang with even more gusto (if that is possible) and while he was at it, he added steering wheel drums.
Even so, I can still say that in most cases when positive feedback is given, it not only encourages good behavior to continue, but it also leads to increased confidence and self esteem. With constructive criticism, it is likely to be met with some resistance, but if it is accompanied with a genuine caring in the individual, it can lead to growth.
What is your reaction to positive feedback? Do you try to “keep up the good work”? How well can you handle the sting of criticism? When you feel the pain, do you quickly strike back or do you step away and think about it?
What a comical way to make a good point. I know I respond well to criticism that is specific about what I could do differently. But some people actually revel in driving people crazy by ignoring their suggestions for improvement 🙂
I think positive feedback is essential in all realms of our lives. This is where we can learn as well as teach others. I also think negative feed back can help us grow into better individuals.