I Took a Pencil

I recently ran across a hot pink pencil in my Hello Kitty pencil cup. I had forgotten about it because the only thing brighter than a hot pink pencil is a bunch of multi-colored ones emblazoned with kitties, hearts, flowers, and purple and pink erasers. Yes, today is my day for true confessions.

It brought me back to the day, several years ago, when I sat in the waiting room of a small office in an undisclosed location. In a tray on an end table was a variety of pencils in neon colors labeled “EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM”. I thought “why in the world would anyone want to take one of those pencils? Who would want to advertise to the world that they had been to the EAP?”

I didn’t have a dramatic problem to solve. I was simply at a crossroads in my life and career and wanted some free advice. But anyone who saw that pencil wouldn’t know that. They might think I had a grievance with my company, was depressed, or was enduring violence at home. Of course, these are all good reasons to go to the EAP, but they’re not issues you want your colleagues to know about.

Just because my need was not dramatic didn’t mean I didn’t qualify to be there. I had a few nagging questions I wanted to explore. These questions could probably have been resolved over coffee with a friend, except that they required someone with specific expertise in life/career issues.

I won’t say the EAP saved my life, but I will say it changed my life. I had two visits with a very competent and compassionate EAP counselor who referred me to a private counselor who had experience working in EAPs in large companies. That was several years ago and I’m still seeing that counselor today. She has helped me with many life questions that I didn’t even know I had.

Why am I telling you this? Because I’m sure I’m not the only person who feared the potential stigma associated with visiting the EAP. Many people who are experiencing a problem at work, depression, or violence at home might avoid the EAP for just this reason. That’s unfortunate, because an EAP is not just a service that companies offer to cover their human resources obligation. An EAP has the power to change a life, or maybe even save one.

Both Dana-Farber and Partners offer an employee assistance program that is free, confidential, and staffed by competent professionals. If the result is a referral to an outside counselor, you can usually do that for a reasonable co-payment. And because the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 prohibits group health plans and health insurance issuers that provide mental health or substance use disorder benefits from imposing less favorable benefit limitations on mental health benefits than on medical/surgical benefits, you are not limited to a certain number of counseling visits. Check with your health plan for coverage details.

Sometimes you don’t know what you need until some objective person suggests it. That has been true for me and could be for you too. That’s why after my second visit I took a pencil.