A Change Management Challenge: Twins!

I’m about to become the grandmother of twins! My daughter, who already has a six year old and a four year old, is expecting twins in November. Welcoming a new baby always comes with a period of upheaval before the family adjusts and incorporates the new life into daily family operations. While I am excited to welcome these new little ones into our family, there are no twins anywhere in our extended family; we have no experience with the logistics of caring for twins. How do you feed two hungry babies at once? How do you get them to sleep at approximately the same time? How does one person load everyone into their car seats for an outing without having that task consume the same amount of time as the outing itself? This is a change management challenge!

Here is a graph showing how change is typically experienced by those affected (borrowed from the Project University’s Change Management 101 course slide deck).

My family is part of the way through this graph as we move from the current state to a (hopefully) enhanced future state.

• Stimulus for change – Oops!
• Denial – All of us were shocked when we first heard the news that my daughter was expecting twins. But there was an “in utero” picture; no denying this situation.
• Uncertainty & disorientation – The first few weeks after we found out were filled with uncertainty. Twins is not what anyone was expecting. It seemed like there were mountains of decisions that needed to be made: new car? new house? new job?   Which of these could wait until after the twins are born and which needed to be dealt with right away?
• Grief – this is too strong a word for what my daughter was feeling but she was overwhelmed with the idea of adding two more children to the two that she already has; worried about how this would affect their lives, financial concerns, etc.
• Acceptance – After one doctor’s appointment early on, where the growing babies were clearly visible, my daughter said she was getting excited about the prospect of having twins. She added that after thinking about the situation, it might be a wonderful thing for the twins to have each other to play with since the other two children are already in school and gone for much of the day. Acceptance and excitement set in!
• New tools and training – This is where we all are on the graph right now. My daughter has collected some new equipment specifically made for parents of twins, she has spent a lot of time talking with her friends who have twins (she has at least eight friends who have had twins, one of whom has two sets!) and she has done a lot of research online. They’ve bought a new, bigger car, gathered a stack of newborn diapers and taken out all the baby clothes. Action has led to feelings of being prepared. The situation feels manageable but it’s easy right now; the babies aren’t born yet!
• Experimenting with new ways of working – We aren’t here yet but we know that as soon as the babies are born we will be on a steep learning curve as everyone in the household gets used to the logistics of managing two babies at once.
• Early wins and reinforcement – We will look for small victories in the beginning with the idea that we will navigate a new path to competence using these small victories as the direction signs to help us find the way.
• Competence and confidence – I know that after a few weeks, months and years my daughter, and the rest of us, will feel competent and fully able to manage these twins as they become incorporated into the family’s life.

And then they will start to crawl, walk, head off to school….more change!