When I used to say, “I don’t see color,” I wasn’t necessarily lying. My father worked in various positions in the Anglican Church Army, many of them serving people of color. So often when we were in his care (my parents were divorced when I was nine), we went on trips to Black churches he served in Detroit, and once to the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota for a week-long conference. Some of the indigenous young people we met there thought we white people were “prejudiced” against them. After a week together, we had gotten to know each other, and those feelings were dispelled.
When we drove home, we were accompanied by Sister Hilda, a Black woman who lived in Minneapolis. She invited us to stay the night at her house before we continued home to Detroit. Her family was not pleased. She made us feel welcome as best she could, but that night was uncomfortable. We learned first-hand what it was like to be rejected because of our skin color.
I vowed to try to understand how that must have felt to people of color whenever we went on later mission trips. But over the years, as I got my education and moved to jobs in the Midwest and later the Northeast, I was lulled into a state of complacency about racism. What I’ve realized, especially since the murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis last May, is that being “color blind” is essentially an attempt to see and treat everyone the same by pretending that everyone is the same. The important word here is “pretending”.
In America, the concept of equality has never been extended to anyone but white people. Not acknowledging color is closing our eyes, as if that is the solution to overcoming prejudice. I wanted to understand more about this, so I read many articles. One of them in Psychology Today struck me, especially because it was written back in 2011.
“In a colorblind society, white people, who are unlikely to experience disadvantages due to race, can effectively ignore racism in American life, justify the current social order, and feel more comfortable with their relatively privileged standing in society (Fryberg, 2010). Most minorities, however, who regularly encounter difficulties due to race, experience colorblind ideologies quite differently. Colorblindness creates a society that denies their negative racial experiences, rejects their cultural heritage, and invalidates their unique perspectives.” Monnica T Williams Ph.D., December 27, 2011.
It is important for me to know that although I might have no hate in my heart toward black people, I can still be guilty of racism. Because racism is about actions—intentional or otherwise, not about feelings. By refusing to see color, I am missing an opportunity to empathize with a person of color. And if I fail to empathize, I am at great risk of doing, saying, or thinking something racist. Out of love and respect for people of color, especially for my colleagues, I need to go out of my way not to be racist. For that, I need to keep my eyes wide open.
This is a great way to connect your personal history with an important issue. You’ve conveyed your perspective in a sincere, heartfelt way. Nicely done Sandie.
Thanks for sharing this experience Sandie. It was very meaningful. I must admit I grew up in a pretty racist family and as a young child I fought against it. However, I was also ignorant and equated skin color to any other feature, like hair color, eye color, etc. to argue that we are all the same. While my intentions were good, I’ve appreciated learning that race is not comparable and has a profound impact on how a person of color experiences and is treated in the world.