Tradition

When I was little, I was intrigued by traditions. There was something mysterious about them and I assumed they came from somewhere but at the time, just being a part of them gave me a sense of belonging. With each tradition I was reminded of my growing place in the world.

We enjoyed many traditions as a family. We would go to the 4^th of July parade together. We would go to the Thanksgiving Day football game and the Christmas tree lighting in the town center. These were fun, but it was the family traditions at home that I looked forward to the most.

On Christmas Eve, it was tradition after dinner that each child could open one gift from Mom and Dad. We would sit on the floor in front of the tree and my mother would find us a gift to open. She would take her time considering all the gifts. We would plead with her to select this present or that one, but in the end after careful inspection she would give each of us a gift. The first year I remember opening presents on Christmas eve the gift was a Christmas ornament, and I remember being let down. As soon as I opened it my parents cheered “Oh wow, look it’s a Santa ornament! Isn’t it nice Timmy?” I was polite, I think, but I was clearly disappointed. The next Christmas Eve when we opened our gifts it was ornament again. My sister was the first to notice that we always received ornaments on Christmas Eve. My mother explained that it was tradition. My father explained something like “these are for you when you are all grown up and have your own tree.” I started to look forward to Christmas Eve and the new ornaments. I would carefully decorate the tree with them each year and store them away afterwards. The tradition grew and grew, and it continues to this day.

About 10 years ago around Christmas time I was telling someone about the tradition of receiving ornaments on Christmas Eve. I explained that I thought the tradition had originated on my mother’s side of the family and that I think “it goes back a long while.” Later that night I asked my mother about how the tradition started. She explained.

“You and your sister would beg us to open gifts on Christmas eve. You were incessant, never ending. I think around 1973’ your father had quit his job because he was traveling so much, and he wanted to be around the house more. Anyway, times were really tight because he wasn’t working yet. We were young, and we didn’t have a lot. We needed gifts for you, but we also needed Christmas ornaments. On Christmas Eve the tree looked pretty sad, so we decided to wrap the ornaments and put them under the tree. During dinner that night, we decided to let you open one of the ornaments as a gift. The next year we decided to do it again, and that was it, the tradition was born. You probably have 30-40 ornaments now, right?”

I was so shocked. I just assumed all those years that the tradition had started somewhere, by someone long ago, when in fact it was created right there in our home. The tradition I held so dear was created out of necessity. It took all of us to keep it going, but it started out of necessity not for ritual or ceremony, out of necessity. I never saw my role in it, I never saw the part I played. My sister and I, with all our nagging helped create the tradition. As a family we created a tradition.

Dana-Farber has a tradition of excellence. You are all part of that. Together we will keep that tradition alive. Happy New Year.

P.S. This year on Christmas Eve I wasn’t with my family, but I was with my girlfriend and her family. We needed a few items from the store, and I offered to go. I explained that I wanted to walk, and my girlfriend’s brother-in-law offered to go with me, and he brought his two kids. My girlfriend, her dad, and her sisters all decided to go too. There were 9 of us and on the way, we stopped and looked at the lights on the houses and we stopped at the town hall where there was a huge tree all lit up. In the store we got our groceries, but I also bought the kids some chocolate. On the way home my girlfriend’s brother-in-law said to his kids “we should do this every year on Christmas Eve, this was fun.” His daughter perked up and quickly agreed.