A few weeks ago I got the opportunity to go back home to Ireland for a week. The purpose of the trip was to attend my high school reunion. Because my wife, two daughters, and I are going to Ireland in August for my brother’s wedding, I got to go alone this time. As you might imagine, I was very excited to see all my old classmates and also to be able to visit family and friends.
It was a great night with my classmates and so much fun seeing guys that I had not seen in about 25 years. Most of them had not really changed too much and were still recognizable. It was also great to visit my family and friends and spend some quality time with them. That is where the story of my iPhone comes in.
My sister had offered to give me a ride to Dublin (where she works). While visiting her new house and coming from my parents’ house, I managed to misplace my iPhone. It was either in her car, my parents’ car, or in my sister’s house. After searching each place numerous times, nobody could find the elusive iPhone. We tried the application “Find myiPhone” but that did not work because the phone was powered off.
All of this initially caused me a lot of stress. What if I missed an important phone call? How can I keep up to date on all my emails? What about my music library? How could I know the current weather conditions in seven of my favorite cities around the world? What about all the great Groupon or Living Social deals I might miss out on? And finally, what am I going to do if I can’t be reminded via LinkedIn of what a colleague of ten years ago is now working on?
This all occurred on my second to last day on vacation and when I left for the airport the next day, the iPhone was still missing. These were very tough days for me because I suddenly found myself alone and isolated. Or was I? As it turned out, over the next week or so I began to get used to the idea of no iPhone, no text messages every 20 minutes or so, no alerts, no emails that could not wait a day or so, not constantly checking my email and thinking that every email needed to be answered immediately.
In fact, after a few days I began to like my sense of freedom and a sense of getting my life back. I soon realized that I could continue to do things without my iPhone but it was just that bit more inconvenient. Now I had to find the house phone (sometimes challenging when you have two young kids), fire up my PC (wait about five minutes), open Microsoft Office, check my emails, and open a browser to check weather in various cites (why I need to do this is still a mystery even to myself). But, I was coping and starting to enjoy the newly found feeling of liberation.
All of that ended, though, when a courier from DHL dropped off a package that my sister had mailed from Ireland. Inside was the iPhone. I cautiously opened the package and turned on the phone. All of a sudden, life as I was used to returned and I began my old ways again. My wife even commented, “I can’t stand that phone of yours as you always have your head buried in it.”
Now several weeks later I have had a chance to reflect on all of this. Having an iPhone is a great convenience and a wonderful time saver. It increases the efficiency of doing everyday tasks. There is no doubt that this has been a reason for its huge global success. I really can’t imagine (at this point in my life) not having an iPhone (or any smart phone).
But I do remember that week or so when I was living without one and after a few days I did get used to the feeling. There is something to be said for not being reachable 24×7, 365 days of the year. It has also made me realize that not every email needs to be answered immediately. In fact, as I commented to a colleague of mine before, it’s surprising the number of email questions that get resolved after not replying to them for a few hours. I’m not advocating that one do this, but rather commenting on something that I have seen.
I’m wondering, where do you fall on this debate? Do you have an iPhone or a smart phone? Have you ever lost it, and if so, how have you coped? Did you need any counseling?
This author can be reached 24×7 at michael_madden@dfci.harvard.edu or texted at 617-905-6636.
MICHAEL! I love this post. I feel a constant battle with my iPhone. It’s amazing, but it also makes me crazy. I hate feeling compelled to check stuff that doesn’t matter. I hate that if there’s any lull in anything, my husband and I are on it. And I do not like the fact that my almost 2 year old also wants to be on it to call Elmo and play games. We need to limit this, be more present, not give time to things that are less important. That said, I do not think I could go back to life without a smart phone.
Thanks for the post It’s very easy to get caught up the madness of a SmartPhone. I’m guilty myself. It can be a bit anxiety provoking when I forget my phone at home or find myself out of battery power. However, it can help reduce stress when I’m in waiting mode in the supermarket or a train is late. I do find some inefficiency in reading emails since often times, I can’t act on the email from a phone. All in all, SmartPhones are a great innovation in technology but time management skills are very much needed to maintain the work-life balance.
This is a great post!
I’ve been thinking about the same things during this time. With my kids nearby, I looked at my phone/mail much less during my vacation week, and it was a great break. Like Joan, I love having the distraction while I’m waiting somewhere, but what happened to just waiting, and perhaps I don’t know, thinking or daydreaming? Was I ever able to do that? Could I learn how to do that?
In a month, I’m going on a kayaking vacation, and I’m already thinking about how to find that balance between being available for emergencies and the freedom of being off-line.
I think you were given a great gift.
I do feel “naked” when leave my iphone at home. I am in daycare duty a few days of the week and it is really important to find out right away if my child is sick so that I can go home immediately. Mindfulness meditation helps me balance things and realize when I am stressed out and when the phone is contributing to it. I then switch off safari or pandora and listen to a guided meditation recording on the train home. You can find the free MP3’s at http://www.harvardpilgrim.org/mindfulness.
enjoy.
Hello everyone and thank you for your coments. It’s interesting to read your notes and know that I am not alone. The iPhone really is a great innovation and you can always turn to it in “down time”. It is kind of ironic that it is even called a phone at all because I hardly ever use the phone. The sheer amount of functionality on such a small device is amazing.
Jane, have fun kayaking! It sounds like a gret trip and please let us know how you fared off the grid. Robson, I’m going to take a listen to some of those guided mediatation recordings.