I drove to work this morning. I took my normal and familiar route and settled in for the 8 mile grind that is Boston rush hour. Immediately I’m reminded of why I prefer to take public transit. On a ½ mile stretch on RT28, I am cut off by 4 cars at different times. The car behind me honks. They must think I’m letting these cars cut in line. I try desperately to keep my calm, pleasant mood but this traffic may get the best of me.
Why do people behave so badly when in traffic? If we were standing in line at the bank, I doubt that people would just walk up and get in line in front of me uninvited. It must be something about the car that makes us feel powerful, distanced, or immune to the normal social rules that we all follow. Is it just because we don’t have to face the person which gives us the justification of bad traffic manners?
Does this behavior happen in our work lives?
I am a byciclist and even though I am not driving, I still see tremendous lack of civility both by bikers and by drivers. I think the car acts as a coccoon made of metal that makes people feel safe to attack someone else. It is very impersonal and therefore the other person is seen as another piece of metal on the road, not another human. At work I see similar behavior when someone who repeatedly treats people badly does not get called on it by his supervisors. This kind of situation actually rewards the uncivil behavior; i.e. the more I throw a fit or I am loud and rude during meetings the less people challenge me; hence, I will keep doing it. Strong leaders take people aside and tell them that their behavior is unacceptable and must change.
While unacceptable behavior can happen at work, it’s definitely more common on the road. I like Robson’s observation that one reason is that the car dehumanizes the behavior. Because no one can hear me, I admit to muttering things about other drivers that I would never say to someone’s face. Although I hope they wouldn’t act that way if we weren’t separated by our cars!
I am a public transportation traveler and I am appalled at the ignorance of people riding the T. Most of my life when an elderly person, pregnant woman or a handicap person got on a bus or train, the younger stonger passengers would get up and offer their seat. Not any more! At least 50%, and that is being conservative, sitting on public transportation are under the age of 30. It is disheartening to see our young people so concerned with grabbing the last available seat and ignoring those who really need the seat. Everyone seems so lost in themselves with little concern for others. Makes me sad and mad.